am i too old to stay out late?

for the first time in forever i went out last night. i went out really late...10pm! hahah! back in the day, that would be early. nowadays, when i finish work at 9, i just wanna go home to a few hours of good old fashioned r&r. so the original plan was to go out saturday night after i finished my shift and catch a movie. that costs 15 bucks for me and my husband which, with only working part-time right now and trying to pay bills every month--sounded good to me. however, plans changed. apparently our new friend, who shall remain nameless, thought that going out to a club/bar would be more fun. well, since bo hadn't gone out in a long time, he thought, "why not!" I, being a total pushover, and putting aside the fact that i had to be on the air at 8:58am sunday morning, decided "sure, that'd be ok!" well, i was an idiot and now i'm paying for it.

went out to a club, watch a really bad drag show, spent over 50 bucks between the two of us on drinks (my hubby isn't a bahai and drinks from time to time) and i ended up leaving early (2am) to go home to try and get some rest. but, as luck would have it, since i was so smart and drank a redbull (a non-alcoholic drink since i'm a bahai and don't drink) at 1am--i get home and can't get to freakin sleep! i was soooooo pissed at myself and at the whole chain of events that led me to that point. why oh why oh why! why did i choose to go out on a night that i knew i had to get some sleep? why did i go to a place full of gay men dancing around? why did i go to a place where i knew we'd spend wayyyyyyyyyyyyy too much money and forget our budget? why did i leave bo there with our friends when i knew he'd probably be out way too late and i'd end up worrying and not getting the sleep that i knew i needed so badly? why do i work at a classical station on sunday mornings after the supposed "most fun and free night of the week (namely, saturday)?" and why is it soooooooooo hard for me to wake up enough right now to realize that i'm still at work and have to be here for another 2 hours, listening to music that is so chill that it makes me wanna pass out right now?

i know i have to take responsibility for my actions but i'm really, really tired of always having to be responsible for myself and everything else these days. i need a holiday.