better late than never

i have been lost in a storm of brain fuzzies and it's just taken a long time to get clear. i'm not totally out of the clouds but i'm getting there. speaking of clouds, i was so desperate to find a job that i almost went to atlanta for 3 weeks to train to be a flight attendant for a chartered airline. when i told my parents, they were confused, to say the least. some people were happy for me that i found something and were even saying how great i'd be at that line of work--in the back of my mind i'm saying..."yeah, but i'd be good at a lot of things." i think i almost needed someone to say, "Tina, don't do it. It's retarded." My sister said it and my parents were not pleased and last night after finishing my shift at the radio station--it hit me. I would have to quit something i really enjoyed in order to have a fulltime job with benefits--true--but a fulltime job where i'd never know where i'd be--a job that is sooooo random--a job where i could possibly die doing--and a job that is kinda' lame now that i think about it (no offense if you are a flight attendant:) . So last night i was supposed to go home and pack for today's trip to atlanta--a trip where the ticket is already booked and the room is already booked (by the airline). Anyway, so i am not gonna go. I didn't sign any contracts and i even tried contacting them several times to let them know last night and today. i've had no call back from them and figure i've done what i could. i know it's irresponsible not to go at such late notice but at the same time, it would be unfair to waste their time in a 3 week training class. it was a hard decision to make since i'm financially defunct but i'm gonna save myself some remorse and sit this one out.

just thought i'd write to let you know i'm still here but haven't really been here for a long time. truly.